Saturday, May 28, 2011

CIA files exposed!!!

According to CIA agent- Derren Buzzwild Sewter, the U.S government has used a clever method of making money to boost the defense budget.
Everybody knows the pentagon as the centre of American organised intelligence. Would it shock you to know that one quarter of the pentagon is merely storage space for old comics, sports cards and GI Joe figuirines etc!!?
Yes since the seventies The U.S governments consumer research group witnessed how something as simple as a baseball card could be worth thousands of times more over a ten year period. They applied the same idea to comics which could sometimes be sold for 10´s of thousands of dollars for a rear addition.
So since the seventies 5% of all the top selling comics, sports cards and figuirines have been commisioned from every leading toy and young peoples literature producers/manufacturer across the country.
Where did these products go for storage? Yes the pentagon that´s where they went! One quarter of the sinister looking building is purely for storage of kids and collectors items!
Whenever there was any major defense spending the U.S government would distribute the comics, cards and toys across the nation selling for thousands of times their value. The sale was guaranteed. The rarest of all cards and comics were bought for fortunes then sometimes resold by enthusiasts for double! Indirectly invigourating the economies of the U.S.A that held the most collectors.
The vietnam war was very costly to the U.S.A so they needed to think of some strategy to bankroll their next wars. Part of the end of the offensive in south east asia was funded by 10 year old baseball cards! Buying ordenance for military helicopters, new assault rifles and even restocking napalm supplies.
The first gulf war in the early 90´s was bought and payed for from the sale of 10-15 year old comics, cards and figuirines! Young people and rich collectors were going about their daily lives unawares that their investments in old cards and comics was keeping the war machines active!
George bush junior however couldn´t understand how the whole racket worked and sold comics and cards years before he should have, losing possibly billions in revenue that could have funded all the middle eastern conflicts without crippling the U.S economy! Such a pity he wasn´t very savy as far as buisiness went.
Part of the pentagon that was hit by part of a coordinated aerial terror attack in 2001 didn´t reach the card and comic warehouse section. This didn´t really make a great deal of difference because most of it´s contents had been already sold. By that time alot of cards and comics were being counterfitted. And the popularity of hand held play figuires was also decreasing.
Apart from the new middle eastern wars(Afganhistan and Iraq) Barack Obama the new president had to come up with a new use for the quarter of the pentagon that was empty. Derren Buzzwild Sewter was the man responsible for leaking this information! It´s possible he´s changed his name since the Bush administration.
Derren has said to have bribed his way into hiding in southern troppados a small island off Borneo owned by incredibly violent dwarf Russian druglords.
SPECIAL CAUTION:
If you don´t believe this story well done it´s probably not true.
If you do believe this story, there is a small percentage chance that it is true. Noone can prove that it isn´t, without revealing exactly what is in the pentagon! However there is also a chance that you are gullible, but don´t worry that doesn´t make you a bad person so get out there and continue smiling.

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